Miasma

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Some say
that there isn't a way
some even hang their head in sorrow
brokenhearted today

I'm sick and tired of the mire
painted over in gray
we have the freedom to go higher
but we're asking to stay

I watch perversion slowly murder
Till my brothers are dead
I see a cancerous conversion
Through the eyes in your head

They march together, liquidated
claiming God as their King
They're all sedated, simply stated
faking everything

Our past will punish like a poison
filling up in our veins
The flesh is weak, the spirit willing
but we're drowning in chains

We won't confess we're so obsessed
with all our personal gain
We lie to God "I'll give it up"
and yet we lavish our pain

We treat our God like a narcotic
"can you gimme a hit?"
Just want a temporary high
and nothing more out of it

No overdose, I'm comatose
Don't wanna cut it or quit
but when the devil does ya dirty
then you're ready to split

We say we pray about our problems
when the sky doesn't clear
then we pretend like we forgot him
claiming God isn't here

But He is there throughout the battle
can't you see that it's true?
Despite our flaws and frequent falls
He's holding tight onto you

So cast it out
Soak it in
Begin
A Holy Revolution

Find the Father's Fire
within
abate your own pollution

Seek and you'll acquire
the kind
of love unfailing

In the arms of your redeemer
you'll find
yourself prevailing

Copyright ©06/17/2009 Edward L.H.II

I'm a little scared....  Tonight, I rest, contemplative.
What I've prayed on for so long is finally coming to light.  Tomorrow, BOTH of my roommates will attend our evening service.  I can't help but be nervous about it.  God has orchestrated so many unimaginable things in the lives of my rommates, and they don't even realize it.  As of late, He's been drawing them near... the unsaved, and doubtful.  I am SO unworthy to serve my God.

Father, I pray you would fill my nostrils with the pungent scent of the Dead.  Pry open every grave that encompasses me, and mold me into what you desire.  Though I'm stubborn, and incredibly stupid,  I'll muster the strength to wait upon you and have ...Patience...


____
On the flipside of things.  I've pretty much canned my last game project.  Its taking too long.  I've started up something new.  A pretty sweet puzzle game that I hope to complete by the fall.
Maybe Ill post a demo once I hit Beta.  Maayyybe.

I sit here on a Friday night slightly distraught because I've misplaced my car keys somehow.  Brian Zaricor invited me to a party at the Arnold Library just down the street.  It was..... kinda fun, but, I can't help but think that if I didn't go, I wouldn't have lost my keys.  Now my car sits in the Library parking lot and I've no transportation.   I'm stuck in Arnold tonight till sunlight when I can search again.  I'm  forced to live by faith for the 4th time this week.  My family knows not of all the trials I've experienced this week, and now I'm slightly torn for I can't even see them tonight.

Are you molding me God?  I ask and pray for more, to be stronger, to know more, to see more.   Father quell my heart so that I can see your face tonight.  I can do no more than live by faith tonight.
All week I've been plagued by distress, BUT JOB FAUGHT THROUGH HIS STRUGGLES.  Satan has power, NOT authority!  Leave me, and let my live by knowing my God and God alone.
Even though my heart is heavy, I know God will give rise to beauty at the coming dawn.


I love you God.